A lot Changed in a Year

Today I went to meet a friend and we realised that it has been a whole year since we finished our A-Level exams. We walked through the park and spoke about how much our lives have changed in this past year. I also bumped into my tutor from college. Seeing her for the first time in a year really made it strike home, that this year I have grown so much as a person.  A year. In some ways it feels like forever but in some ways it feels like it was only yesterday. I do feel like in the last year, the world has endured so much, particularly at the moment.

This year has probably been the year that I have changed the most as a person. I've moved to university, lived life as a student, and now due to lockdown, moved home to live with my family again. It's been one hell of year. Becoming more independent as a person has taught me a lot and I can't explain how much the last year has taught me as a person. Firstly if a year ago you had told me that I would have finished my first year of my psychology degree I wouldn't have believed you. I didn't think I'd have gotten into university let alone finish a year. Heere's to another two (maybe three) years. Also, if you had told me a year ago that the world would be in the state it's in I wouldn't have believed you. I don't know why I wouldn't have believed that the world would have been in this state, but I thought that the human race was kinder than it is. Perhaps quite naievly I also thought that a pandemic wouldn't have such a big of an impact on a first world country. 

Personally I have a lot more lessons to learn as does everyone. As a group of people sharing one planet we all need to learn to treat each other and the planet more kindly. But I am going to tell you some of the main things I have learned in the last year. 

Saying NO is okay

Before I started university I was very much the kind of person who would try to say yes to every opportunity that was thrown their way. Whether that was in terms of education/career or in terms of my social life. In some cases this has left me feeling absolutely drained. Since getting to uni I have become a lot more comfortable in saying no to things. Whether that's a night out or a conference day. Believe it or not, it was something that I had to learn very quicky in freshers week. I was meant to be going on Wednesday night, after having been out every night since the Thursday before. I was led in my bed feeling absolutely drained thinking 'oh god, I can't do this, I'm going to look so flakey cancelling on people'. I know deep down that if I had of gone out I would have not had a good time because all I would have been thinking was 'please, I just want to be in bed'. So from that day since I have realised that it is okay to say no!

Not everyone wants to be your friend and, you don't have to be everyone's friend 

Leaving old friends behind, making new friends. I came across a lot of new people when I started uni. I found this to be a super strange experience because the last time I had to make a whole new set of friends was 8 years ago when I started secondary school. I drifted through college with the same friendship group I had from school, picking some up (and dropping others) along the way. Meeting lots of new people in a very short space of time means that you have to be very quick at deciding who you want to keep close to you and who you would like a bit more distance from. Some people that you meet during your first few weeks of uni, you may never see again. This is okay. Some people are only meant to be in your life for a short while. Learning that not everyone wants to be your friend can sometimes be a tough lesson to learn but I think it's important to remind yourself that there's a reason that people are in your life, whether that's for a long or short time. 

It's okay to ask for help

It's taken more than year for me to learn this. It's also something that I am for sure still learning. But now, if I can myself slipping I am quite quick to reach out to my friends or family. I used to try and hide how was feeling but I think I have become better at showing how I'm really feeling and this in turn lets my friends and family know that I might need some space, or some support. Being able to ask for help isn't easy but I promise that when you do, it will make such a positive change. 

Possible TW- eating behaviours. Skip to the ending paragraph xx

Feeling guilty is pointless

I've learnt to feel less guilty for not always being productive or not always getting everything done on time. This could be uni work, or not being able to commit to something extra. I refuse to feel guilty for something that I don't feel up to doing. This year (up until a few months ago) has been very full on so it's been very important to me not feel guilty about saying no to things. If I have a full week and only have one day off, that day will be a day off. I might spend the day tidying my house. Just as long as what I'm doing benefits me. I've also struggled with feeling guilty about what I eat but this is also something that has changed over the last year. I've started going to gym more often (obviously not at the moment), which in a sense has gotten rid of some of the guilt I used to feel about eating crap food. I am also making more of an effort to eat healthier foods. It's okay not to feel guilty about everything that you do/don't do. 

I hope that you have got something from this post. I'm also sending all my love and wishes to you reading this. What we are all going through at the moment isn't easy. Reach out for help if you need to.